There comes a time in every man’s life when he ceases to be a ‘yes’ man and vows to be his own man, and to do things his own way. Woe betides the soul that should cross this man’s path at this moment.
Times change, friends come and go, but the man who has embarked on a venture to be his own man is consistent in his new purpose, as he remarks a turning point in history that will shape his future. Then, just when he is trudging the new path confidently, the first serious hurdle in his chosen path shows up in the unlikely candidate of his mother.
Mothers are great; mothers are fine; and mothers are okay. But only if they let you be. It really makes their heart bleed when it strikes them that you have made that deliberate choice not to be ‘mama’s boy’ anymore. They cannot understand the change in you.
This is when the battle begins. They will plot scheme and strategize. They will sigh deeply and ask God, “Why this betrayal on your part?” And should God fail to answer as He sometimes does, they will rave, rant and threaten you with a thousand curses, all designed to make your life hell. So, what do you do?
Keep your cool, be steadfast to your love, constant in your affairs and never fail in your commitments. Your character is being put to test here and only one thing can help you- remain steadfast to your principles.
A man’s character is not defined by what he owns or his past. Rather what defines him is his own constitution, the unwritten rules and laws that spring out deep conviction- their infallibility having been tested over time. If a man makes up his mind not to imbibe alcohol, for example, nothing in this world can make him change. If he decides that his circle will only include those who hold his views, it becomes so and the world will respect him for it.
But the world frowns upon a man who has no principles, a man whose life is like a feather in the wind, blown this way and that way, always moving and going nowhere.
A man’s principle spells out his character and establish his private inner and outer limits or boundaries. Unfortunate is the fellow who has no incline or pretense to principles.
Unfortunate too is the man who still entertains his boyhood loyalties to the matriarch of his family. The man who sacrifices his own principles to please the whims of his mother is a man forever plagued with sorrow. A man’s life is the crystallization of his thoughts, values and commitments. Such a man is able to make out his life, and establish attainable goals that lead to his progress and that of others.
If one’s principles, beliefs and whole being are to work out the best for everyone, he should not allow others to make choices for him. It’s the men who are not capable of making personal choices that make some women taunt menfolk as being useless, hopeless, and unreal.
But I want to remind women that there is nothing like a real man, there are men who are principled, who have chosen the path of being their own person. Men who, contrary to world’s opinion, have gone out of their way to act out resolutely on their lives’ purpose. Men, who in the darkest hour have trudged on in spite of stiff opposition and in the face of criticism.
These men have the guts to demand the one thing that the world owes them- respect. While others are bargaining with life for a penny, they push and keep pushing for respect; respect, and more respect. And they eventually get their reward- respect for themselves, their children and their spouses.
These are the men who when the curtain finally comes down on their lives, the world will acknowledge them as true heroes- their legacy being the courageous lives they led and the good that came of it. Ah! To be such a man!